My Journey To The Ice

The recycling containers are everywhere.  You cannot escape them.  In the kitchen, by the dishroom after you eat, in the halls of the dorms, in the halls of all the buildings, outside… everywhere.  I was concerned about getting busted by the station recycling police.  They are not a problem.  It’s the kitchen recycling police I am having an issue with.  Katie scolded me multiple times in one day for improper recycling.  Who knew there were different types of plastics that go into separate recycling bins?  And what is the difference between non-recyclables and burnables?  Or is it food waste?  Can’t we just put everything into an anti-matter machine and make it all disappear?  Apparantly not and with my increased stress, I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Recycling Disorder.

I had a freaky face thing going on.  I was convinced my face was falling off.  It got really red and puffy.  And it hurt.  And I looked like I aged 10 years overnight.  So I headed to the Antarctic Botox Center to have my freaky face thing checked out.  Dr. Don examined my face, pinched the skin on my hand, and said, “Congratulations, you are dehydrated.”  And my door prize was a small bottle of super concentrated Eucerine lotion.  Use multiple times throughout the day and drink a lot more water. 

Freaky face thing is looking better all ready.  And so are the bathrooms. 

Basically, you are not allowed to do anything down here until you’ve had safety training in the that area (whatever area that may be).  I’m surprised we haven’t had toilet training because who knows, if you sit to pee incorrectly, you could fall in, injure yourself to the point where you need to be medivaced right back to New Zealand.  In that light, I got busted for going on an illegal hike (please see “Perspective”).  I’ve been sent to the Principal’s Office, reprimanded, and informed that I need to take my Outdoor Safety Class before venturing off base again.  And apparantly word has spread around the base of my illegal activity because it seems to be the station scuttlebut (is that a word?).  Do people really care?  Anyway, I think they are cutting me some slack because the authorities that be seemed impressed by my daring adventure out to Castle Rock on my fourth day here.  At 20 below zero. 

Let’s go back to Perspective.  It’s really cold today.  People are actually admitting that.  So, if 20 below is “warm”, I’m guessing it’s 40 below?  Maybe colder?  I don’t know.  There’s no thermometer here.  I don’t understand this. 

Ok, moving onto the Prison Shower. I live in a dorm that has lots of doors and lots of hallways.  If I go into a door other than the one I know, I will get lost roaming the halls for hours on end trying to locate my room.  So, I stick to what I know.  Now, there are few women’s bathrooms on my floor.  There is a nice and quiet one down the hall and through the woods with two private showers.  However, there is never hot water when I want to shower.  So, I found another communal bathroom, on the other side (through some random door and other woods) that does have hot water.  HOWEVER, the showers are communal and I find this mentally disturbing.  Girls don’t like this.  We need to shower privately.  But, no, I am stuck in the communal shower, otherwise known as the “Prison Shower.”  Fortunately for me, no one else is bathing at 3 in the afternoon.  So, I get the Prison Shower to myself.

I had a hiking date.  There was discussion regarding route and distance to travel.  I was more concerned about proper attire for our venture out on to the icy plaines.  I enquired about the temperature.  He said, and I quote, “It’s warm out today.”  I said, “Define warm.”  He replied, “Fifteen below zero.”  I informed him that his perspective on temperature was fairly warped.

I did well on my first Antarctic hike.  I did not freeze, though by the time we came home, there was a deep chill through my core and I needed a sauna to revive my internal organs.  Yes, we really do have saunas.

You have to wonder when someone really thinks that 15 below 0 is warm.  I don’t know, 10 above must be an absolute heat wave.  Oh, by the way, my hiking partner is another dumbass who left a perfectly good job to venture to the coldest place on earth for crap pay.  YES, THERE ARE MORE OF US!

Did I mention the live band (soundboard and everything) at the party at the carpenter’s shop the other night?  Did I mention it was like traveling through a hurricane getting up the hill to the shop?

We’re organizing a social with the New Zealand base.  They are down the road from us.
We’re allowed to go to their house on Thursday’s.  Maybe we’ll have a dance or something.  At the carpenter’s shop.

I had to sort my personal garbage today.  I think they added more recycling bins.  If in doubt, burnables.  I checked for the recycling police video cameras.  I think I was ok.

So we met at the airport at 5:00 a.m.  We gathered our Extreme Cold Weather gear, weighed our bags, again, again, and again.  Lot’s of colorful language in the locker room as we packed and repacked trying to manipulate our luggage to meet the maximum weight allowance.  Then we gathered in the orientation room for a film on our journey to Antarctica.  Why go at this point?  I’ve seen the movie.  Two really cute dogs roaming around sniffing everyone’s luggage.  I’m guessing they were the drug specialists because this really was not the bombing-terrorist type of group. 

Have I mentioned some folks have been doing this for 20 years?

So, we shlepped onto the cargo plane, compliments of the Air National Guard, and headed to our luxury steerage seats.  I’m kidding about the luxury.  I was particularly impressed by the use of duct tape holding the plane together.

6 hours later I got off the plane and stepped onto a thin layer of snow covering this icy continent.  Just forever of snow and ice.  And the Extreme Cold Weather gear really works.  It was a mere 25 below 0 and I was fairly comfy.  It was a beautiful day as the Sun sat on the horizen, for that’s as far as it gets for 8 hours a day.  Then it was off in the Terra Bus for our drive into Mac Town.  Playing Led Zeppelin and Creedence Clearwater Revival

They take their safety and recycling very seriously.  I am very stressed about the whole recycling.  I am afraid the recycling police will bust me for some dubious act of failing to place some fragment of something in the right container.  How many containers to we have?  Multitudes.  Mixed paper, paper towels and tissue, corrugated cardboard, plastic, aluminum, glass, hazmat, bio-hazard, grease, non-recyclables, food waste, waste-waste… all the new kids are seeking therapy because it is all so overwhelming.

The people down here are a colorful lot.  Very friendly, very helpful.  The folks who have spent the Antarctic winter down here are doing the thorazine shuffle.  They need to leave.  Soon. 

The dining room looks out to the Transantarctic Mountain range.  I think I am at a ski resort.  I like it.

It snows a lot.  We had a Condiiton 1 yesterday which meant it was so bad out we weren’t allowed out and play.  I stood by the door announcing to everyone it was a Catergory 2 hurricane.  It sure felt like it.  Very exciting.

I had my first day of work today.  It wasn’t so bad.  Kind of slow.  But it was fine and I think I will survive the next 6 months of feeding the starving Antarctic throngs.  My boss asked how my day was going.  I said it was much easier than all the recycling. 

Chaos at Miami, International.  Licked the winds of Gustav.  Thought we were going down over the mighty Pacific.  Are there sharks down there?  I was wondering.  I preferred not to go down in shark territory. Met new people.  Another flight.  More turbulance.  We all survived.

I’ve been told my next 6 months will basically be one big party.  Good thing I practiced my drinking.

Christchurch is a lovely city. No pigeons.  I saw a baby duck.  The weather is phenomenal.  The bars are great. 

Off to the Clothing Distribution Center soon for my Extreme Cold Weather gear.  I suppose 40 below zero can be construed as extreme.  Even extremo.  Super extremo.

I will be back.